What starts as a romp through the world of Black London ends with a thoughtful contemplation on the intersection of masculinity and social media.
So, I am reading The List by Yomi Adegoke. I got it through my Africnist working group, which is part of my PhD program at Duke. Written in the language of chick lit meets social media speak, it follows Ola, a successful journalist living in London, who made her name by authoring articles about women in the #MeToo movement and writing exposés about men who have been found guilty of sexual assault and sexual harassment. “She has dedicated the best part of a decade to rallying against patriarchy, rape culture, and toxic masculinity” (Adegoke, 27). Days before her wedding to the handsome Michael Kentore, The List is published on social media, naming her fiancé along with 50 other men accused of sexual assault.
To say I flew through this book is an understatement. Given that it came from an academic reading group, I did not expect such a chick-lit-style book that focuses on a young woman’s primary aspirations—perfect job, perfect apartment, great friends—and her journey toward marriage. But what strikes me most is that we get to follow Michael’s thoughts too. He
“flicks through a mental Rolodex of every single girl he had ever met, moved to, ghosted, cheated on—anything… When he thought about it, he hadn’t been great to Toyasi when they had been together. Efua, either. Or Tash. Or Jackie” (Adegoke, 21).
The novel makes me think about this post #MeToo moment we are in, and how we must contend with the fact that many men have treated women in ways that could be considered harassment or non-consensual. What I appreciate about this book is that, by narrating Michael’s side, we get to see him questioning himself. We witness, in real-time, that Michael never considered his behavior as harassment because he never thought about how the women perceived him.
His character validates a thought I’ve had for a very long time: women (and queer and trans people) are the primary victims of rape culture. And, at the same time, boys and men can sometimes unknowingly perpetuate this culture. Consider the following scene:
“As a teenager, if he saw a girl with a pretty face or a shapely behind… he called after her and expertly extracted a name, a smile, and a number from her like a snake charmer” (Adegoke, 39). He then remembers his fiancé, Ola, telling him about when she was a teenager: “She’d more than once fearfully given out a fake number and prayed the guy didn’t ring her phone then and there” (Adegoke, 38).
Michael realizes that all the women from whom he extracted a smile, a name, and a number may have left that encounter feeling harassed. Where Michael is a secondary victim is that he lives in a world in which he only learns about the harm he’s done about ten years after it’s done.
I don’t write this to excuse men at all. I write this to say that both the short story and this book were written by women. This means that, although women are the primary victims of this kind of violence and harassment, women are also the ones who have to deal with future husbands who may have perpetuated this kind of violence. So the question of what to do with men who have done this is just as urgent as calling out the behavior.
SPOILER ALERT: The big twist of the story is that Lewis, a football player who was also put on the list for being homophobic and violent, made his way there because he did indeed say homophobic things, but only to distract from the fact that he is a closeted gay man. Mediated by social media, this unexpected connection forces Michael to confront himself through Lewis.
My only critique of the book is that it was a tad long. Given the exciting 21st-century, social media-driven start, I do think the book could have sustained that momentum by cutting out a few lengthy scenes that didn’t feel like they contributed to the plot or character development. That being said, I think Adegoke did a fabulous job of telling a very contemporary story that addresses the alarming way men are raised and then chastised for carrying out the very things their culture expects of them, while also making space for the very real hurt that women have experienced at the hands of these same men. It’s a story that manages to hold multiple truths at the same time.
I’m so glad you stopped by! Leave a comment or share your experience with me—I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Ellie
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